ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
