I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize