Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just threw up on my dentist
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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