i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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