yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
