And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
