Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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