Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Your tits are I can't wait for
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize