your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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