They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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