So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
