I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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