so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
