Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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