Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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