Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
