There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
