Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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