And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
