After last night, I could never be a politician.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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