She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
