Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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