I need help removing her.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
