wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
