i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
