got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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