we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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