what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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