Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
