bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
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Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
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I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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