so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
