So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize