Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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