we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
