I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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