Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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