she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
