but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
