You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
