You just made me feel so damn special
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Your tits are I can't wait for
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
