i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize