I wish my penis had an off switch
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
