This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
