I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
