Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
