well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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