I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
third nipple confirmed
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