Jerry, you need to find god
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
