I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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