Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize