Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated... http://tfl.nu/17ul
  Replies (22) Good night (753) Bad night (5587)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  GO. BACK. NOW.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash (1-513): GO. BACK. NOW. http://tfl.nu/zc24
  Replies (42) Good night (6718) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious http://tfl.nu/av2y
  Replies (11) Good night (4614) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.' http://tfl.nu/3iza
  Replies (16) Good night (5607) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here. http://tfl.nu/viom
  Replies (26) Good night (7785) Bad night (1636)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry. http://tfl.nu/kj1j
  Replies (2) Good night (3025) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station. http://tfl.nu/3ja7
  Replies (16) Good night (4321) Bad night (1960)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea. http://tfl.nu/ytsg
  Replies (3) Good night (2657) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles http://tfl.nu/rk9c
  Replies (13) Good night (2638) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great. http://tfl.nu/f48j
  Replies (9) Good night (1338) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now. http://tfl.nu/vurn
  Replies (5) Good night (1250) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work. http://tfl.nu/4lb8
  Replies (13) Good night (2369) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises. http://tfl.nu/t2bs
  Replies (4) Good night (1225) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays. http://tfl.nu/jyu4
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt http://tfl.nu/mvv0
  Replies (0) Good night (249) Bad night (135)

Randomize