o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone