I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
