i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.