Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period

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  (404): I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period http://tfl.nu/z8bc
  Replies (17) Good night (1054) Bad night (3401)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.

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  (214): The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson. http://tfl.nu/pxr8
  Replies (286) Good night (4438) Bad night (4406)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  :( I miss blowjobs.

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.

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  (862): :( I miss blowjobs. (973): This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had. http://tfl.nu/jn5t
  Replies (22) Good night (2997) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin

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  (919): He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin http://tfl.nu/8jd6
  Replies (17) Good night (3034) Bad night (1172)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

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  (617): gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist. http://tfl.nu/2uj6
  Replies (35) Good night (1355) Bad night (4570)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly

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  (412): My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly http://tfl.nu/ipod
  Replies (10) Good night (5057) Bad night (1199)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.

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  (636): I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk. http://tfl.nu/1zna
  Replies (4) Good night (1416) Bad night (2590)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face

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  (814): the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face http://tfl.nu/c559
  Replies (5) Good night (2022) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.

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  (704): Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox. http://tfl.nu/wyx0
  Replies (18) Good night (1479) Bad night (3807)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.

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  (206): I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month. http://tfl.nu/ayye
  Replies (19) Good night (1744) Bad night (1347)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!

  (1-716): View more from New York

  Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.

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  (716): Guess what I signed up for?!?!?! (1-716): Please tell me you're not selling your eggs. http://tfl.nu/5jqi
  Replies (1) Good night (851) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight

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  (780): My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight http://tfl.nu/tvtb
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.

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  (240): My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems. http://tfl.nu/4b6z
  Replies (1) Good night (650) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (234): View more from Ohio

  I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window

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  (234): I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window http://tfl.nu/sgun
  Replies (4) Good night (729) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.

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  (843): We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well. http://tfl.nu/sx92
  Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (251)

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