i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
