So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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