It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
