I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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