that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
