Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a dumb baby whore.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize